Posts Tagged ‘cows’

The Cows on Old MacDonald’s Farm

March 30, 2009

 old mcdonald had a farm e-i-e-i ooo and on his farm he had a horny cow–e-i-e-i ooo with a moogasm here and amoogasm there….here a moogasm there a moogasm

 every where a moogasm gasm old mcdonald had a farm e-i-e-ioo
 
and on his farm he had a cowpig- e-i-e-i o  with a moink moink here and a moink moink there here a moink there a moink every where a moink moink old mc donald had a farm e-i-e-i oo
 
and on his farm he had a llamacow-e-i e-i -ooo with a moospit here and a moospit there here a moospit there a moospit every where a moospit spit old mcdonald had a farm e-i e i ooo
 
and on his farm he had a gassy cow-ei ei oo with a moofart here and a moofart there…here a moofart there a moofart every where a moo fart fart…old mcdonald had a farm ei ei oo
 
and on his farm he had a cow that took a laxative–ei ei oo with a moosplat here and a moosplat there here a moosplat there a moosplat every where a moosplat splat oh mcdonald had a farm ei ei ooo
 
and on his farm he had a Hawaiian cow- e-i e-i o with a moomoo here a moomoo there here a moomoo there a moomoo everywhere a moomoo old mc donald had a farm ei ei ooo
 
 
 

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I Am Bovine

March 26, 2009

I Am Bovine

(to the tune of I Am Woman by Helen Reddy)

I am bovine hear me moo

In huge herds too big to shoo

And I know too much to go back and pretend

Cause I’ve heard it all before

You’re a cow and nothing more

And you are not going totouch my udders again.

Chorus: Oh Farmer warm your hands

Before touching my glands

Your hands are too cold

And if you warm them, behold

I will produce milk by the gallons

I am strong

I am invincible

I am Bovine!

You can stuff your hands in your pockets

That won’t keep my eyes in their sockets

You need a heater, or be kicked in your peter

Yes my udders are quite numb

Icicles they have become

I can’t pass frozen cow juice

Warming your hands would make it loose

(repeat chorus)

I am bovine so I’m told

With udders that have froze

Soon they are going to crack off and make cows of their own

So farmer listen to me

If you ever want to squeeze

You’re going to have to warm them fingers

Or iced milk will linger!

(repeat chorus)