Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

Cha Cha Cha

March 26, 2009

Sometimes my online friends and I get super silly.  And one day we came up with songs about Diarrhea. Songs like the infamous “If you’re in a chevy and you feel someting heavy…diarrhea cha cha cha.” Well, I saved a list of ones we came up with…here are the best ones…

If you’re in Spain and you feel a farting pain…

If you’re in Chad, and smell something bad…

If  you’re in Rocky [Rockhampton, Australia], and you feel a little cocky…

If you’re in Yepoon [Australia), and your butt blows like a balloon…

If you’re in the States, and your ass begins to quake…

If  you’re living in the States and your loo paper grates…

 

No, we never claimed to be normal, or not have time on our hands. If you have any you’d like to add.

Farts In Space

March 21, 2009

What happens if you fart in space? If you fart in space does it make a sound?  Would anyone hear? Does it keep repeating?

Is the legnth of a fart on Earth different than in space?

Does the smell linger on forever? will aliens in far off galaxies be able to sniff your anal emissions? By-the-way do aliens fart? Do aliens even have anuses? In discovering aliens and other species in outer space shouldn’t we test the air when they fart to see if they fart methane like us? What gases could aliens actually pass?

Are farts jut the more basic forms of nebula? Do stars form in farty clusters?

Would we eventually be able to maneuver around the universe simply by farting? Perhaps we can recycle the farts and use them for fuel (natural gas). Even better, perhaps if we pass gas enough we will fart ourselves new anuses and have built in jet engines.

Did you know that if you fling a fart a passing meteor, it will shatter into millions of little pieces? Who needs lasers?

What happens if you fling a fart into a black hole? would the black hole, that has this giant gravitationasl pull, throw the fart back out into the universe because it smells too funky? Can black holes smell? (That sounds more than wrong!) If a cow flatulates in space, will that make a black hole?

If you make a cabbage fart in space, will you have a whole field of cabbages behind you to help you find your way back?

Dizzy Daffinitions

March 21, 2009

I did publish this one on associatedcontent.com but they assured me that I have full rights to my non-exclusive works. So here we go …and remember laugh.

Assail–butts on a boat

Barium- the Latin form of Barry

Befog– Bee farts

Booby Trap- what men use to catch boobs.

Booby Hatch- a place where they grow boobs.

Canticle-  the opposite of testicle.

Covet- a little cove.

Eft- a,b,c,d,e, eft, g

Einsteinium- the genius element

Elderberry- a senior citizen berry

Gastrology- the study of farts in the stars (aka nebula)

General Assembly- a factory where they manufacture leading military figures.

Humerus- A not so funny bone.

Ichthyology- the study of icky things

 Kernal – a corn seed that has joined the military

Mangrove- a place where they grow men.

Naval Aviator — a flying bellybutton.

Odious- as pertaining to Odie (Garfield)

Plug- intercourse with a light socket.

Proverbs- to be for, as opposed to against, verbs.

Relax- to take Ex-Lax again.

Retard- to have been a tard once before.

Wingnuts- flying nut sacs.

Am I A Nutter?

March 21, 2009

I don’t understand what the big deal about President Obama being on Jay Leno is about.  Some politicians say he has too much on his plate or that he should just pay attention to what is going on in our nation, but quite frankly I think it’s great that our President has a sense of humor. If we see him laughing, then we can laugh too. I understand that sometimes it’s hard to laugh when times are tough, but see that is my point. The President LAUGHED! That’s a good thing! I do think the joke he made about his bowling score was a little inappropriate but nothing to go nuts over people.

Sometimes I feel like a full-fledged nutter. I like to make people laugh and I do it any way I can just to see a smile. I get bashed for not being lady-like with my sense of humor. Well starch my collar and call me stiffy! If you can’t laugh about things like farts what can you laugh about, or do you even laugh? Yet these are the same people who tell racist jokes..wait I said fart–that’s not lady-like but calling people the N word in your historically inaccurate and inept jokes is? Yeah….um..check please.

The English language can be quite humorous sometimes. Sometimes it’s in the pronunciation and other times it’s just the word itself. For example PRAWN. Now I know some of my friends reading this are already laughing their arses off because, well, they know when I was on prawn kick….PRAWN became my lifes work. Every other word out of my mouth was prawn.  Then came the word Cloaca. Just say it out loud. CLOACA! Then if you put them together you get a Prawn’s Cloaca. Yeah…ok I am a nutter, but you love me anyway eh?

Welcome Message

March 21, 2009

Welcome to my blog. I call it Random Thoughts because I often write about thoughts that are spinning around my head, and in no particular format , and with lack of cohesion. Then I post those random thoughts on another site, but they really don’t belong on that site. So, I decided to start this blog. This way when I have something to get off my chest I can just put it here. My friend would call this a place for “brain dumping. ”

I wonder if brain dumping is illegal in any state? Is that considered illegal toxic dumping? What if steam comes out of my ears? What if my ears could regenerate?! See, totally random.

The thoughts I post are funny,stupid, or intellectual on a wide variety of topics. I pray you will enjoy what I write, and I look forward to reading your work as well.

~Lady Samantha

Hello world!

March 21, 2009

Welcome to WordPress.com. This is your first post. Edit or delete it and start blogging!