I Am Bovine

I Am Bovine

(to the tune of I Am Woman by Helen Reddy)

I am bovine hear me moo

In huge herds too big to shoo

And I know too much to go back and pretend

Cause I’ve heard it all before

You’re a cow and nothing more

And you are not going totouch my udders again.

Chorus: Oh Farmer warm your hands

Before touching my glands

Your hands are too cold

And if you warm them, behold

I will produce milk by the gallons

I am strong

I am invincible

I am Bovine!

You can stuff your hands in your pockets

That won’t keep my eyes in their sockets

You need a heater, or be kicked in your peter

Yes my udders are quite numb

Icicles they have become

I can’t pass frozen cow juice

Warming your hands would make it loose

(repeat chorus)

I am bovine so I’m told

With udders that have froze

Soon they are going to crack off and make cows of their own

So farmer listen to me

If you ever want to squeeze

You’re going to have to warm them fingers

Or iced milk will linger!

(repeat chorus)

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